Let's play "Sim Record Exec"

[Phil Lawton]

Well, sort of.

OK, picture this...you're an imaginary PR man, pitching to the imaginary, clueless chief exec of Capitol Records (I'm sure the real one has lots of clues and is quite switched onto the real world). You get five minutes to sell idea of investing some serious cash in releasing either a b-side compilation or an album of previously unfinished/unreleased work by a British band from, ooh, let's say Grangemouth.

Exec: How come this material's just lying around to be released?

You: Well, they split up a few years ago...1997, to be exact. The singer wanted to go solo.

Exec: So....will they reform to support the release, with, say, a tour?

You: Um...no, that's pretty doubtful.

Exec: Ok...and the singer who wanted a solo career....how's that going?

You: Er...well...she's guested on a few things...but no proper solo output yet.

Exec: OK...weren't they a culty band...bit of an underground following?

Agent: Yes, I guess they were.

Exec: So why should I plough money into a minority appeal band's album, when they won't tour to support it and the fan-base, which was small to start with, has probably diminished?

-----------------------------------------------------------

OK....enter your convincing argument here. You have two minutes of your five left. No more than two hundred words, please.

[john anderson]

Because their small cult following is Rabid purchasers of anything cocteau related. In this time of free music being downloaded by the masses most people don't run to their music stores to buy cd's anymore. But these people will be camped outside waiting for it's release with little or no promotion. All we need to do is drop a rumour on to a message board and they will come. And if you really want to make some cash make ten singles with one new song on each single with slightly different cover art and charge nearly as much as a full album for each. The fans will of course need to own the full set including import and demo versions. So in response to your question why release it, because their cult following will eventually KILL you if you don't.
john
p.s. uhh just kidding about that killing thing no murdering record execs ok. Just kidnapping in exchange for master tapes heh.

[Phil Lawton]

John

Not bad.

[Beth]

think you got it in one there Phil

[Phil Lawton]

Beth-babes!

Care to play? Less than 200 words to convince the exec.

Oh, another suggestion for you in the Sylvian theme - "Tin Drum" by Japan...if you like "Bamboo Houses", get this.

[Beth]

PLEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAASSSSSSSSSSSEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE EEEEEEEEEEE

[Phil Lawton]

Beth

Hmm...That might also work...just depends on how desperate you looked.

[mmmender]

did someone say SYLVIAN???

slurp!!

[Phil Lawton]

Down, girl.

[Beth]

Yeah wouldnt mind a bit of him too.And Phil i can do very desperate if you like

[dreaming]

Hmmm lets see...

Option 1:

Me to exec: "See that pitchfork holding jeering mob outside?"
Exec: "Err..yes..."
Me: "Well, we locked them in a room for 72 hours with nothing but MTV and Count Chocula cereal."
Exec: "So ?"
Me: "They want to know who is responsible."
Exec: "I see...what are your terms."

Option 2:

My own brand of justice.
Me: "Up against the wall and bend over. Prepare to reap what you have sown..."

[TG]

That's pretty darn straightforward if you ask me. One should be able to persuade the exec dude in seconds, how about this as the way towards persuasion:-

Exec: So fella, what makes you think we should release such a collection by this incredibly culty band?

Me: Because they are an incredibly culty and talented band whose output, in whatever form, demands to be heard, no questions asked, least of all by execs such as you. However I am sure you will come around to consider the infinite merits of the suggestion most favourably say like within the next couple of seconds.

Exec: OK, fella, you have convinced me that any release by this incredibly talented and culty band demands to be released and I shall ensure that this is arranged as a matter of the utmost priority.

Me: Cheers me old mucker.

And there you have the deal, clinched swiftly and amicably - all within a minute.

[The Boy With A Thorn In His Side]

Oh Great!

Just what this board needs, another idiot who thinks they are clever.

You've got company Phil.

-The Boy With A Thorn In His Side

[Ben Du Toit]

Hey Thorny

Judging by your past contributions and the general board consensus, I think it's actually the case that you're the idiot and no-one else - and I don't see anyone other than your utterly foolish and pathetic self disagreeing with that assessment.

[dreaming]

Didn't we leave all this nonsense behind in high school?
Please, somebody has got to pull that thorn out of his side. It's all swollen and festering. Any volunteers? mmmmmendy, he keeps winking and gesturing in your direction.

[mmmmender]

oh and what makes you think i want to go within 5 feet of the guy?

[TG]

dreaming et al

I think that The Boy With a Thorn In His Side should change his name so as to not further desecrate and take in vain that fine Smiths effort.

A more appropriate name for the troubled one should be:-

The Boy With a Thorn Up His Arse (said thorn in arse is clearly penetrating what little brain matter resides there.)

And let's face it, the above is a far more accurate reflection of the deeply disturbed one.